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A Stunning Young Girl Who Shook Tables With Her Pitch

21st Sep, 2018

80s and 90s kids, shida yetu ilikuwa nini lakini?

I survived many years of utter foolishness and honestly I am a living testament that there is a Supreme Being watching over us.  We could have been better, possibly made better decisions but here we are. Bora uhai (I am the only one allowed to use this term).

Does the name Tamara Mueni ring a bell? Anyone? No? Labda hauna decoder because while you were her age, kazi ilikuwa kuchapachapa kamawe for kilometres alafu unasahau chenye ulikuwa umetumwa kununua a.k.a capital offence. Before you pick a fight with me please elewa I’m in the same boat; I was streaming using office internet nikingoja line ya mat za home ipunguke. Plus I didn’t want to queue hapo karibu Memphis nikinusa chipo siwezi afford. Kupambana na hali is the name of the game.

Tamara Mueni is the stunning young girl who shook tables with her pitch on KCB Lions’ Den. I do not mean ‘young’ because a ‘lady never tells her age’, but this girl is literally 10 years old; appearing on KCB Lions’ Den to pitch her passion and business to a pack of fierce Lions.

Heck, when I was her age, hata kuambia mwalimu “Please can I go to the bathroom” was a whole grueling process within me that would often leave me twisting my calves at my desk nikingoja short break.

This girl both impressed me and also took a straight jab at my very being and here’s why. I would like to explain this to you in a question… I feel smarter that way. Let me enjoy things. What were you doing at 10?

I’m still mind blown by her confidence and business acumen. Her caring heart turned the Den into some kind of angel studded space. She was clear on what she wanted and what an investor would have to offer her.

When I was 10 ‘Me I’ (ona sasa) had shown promising signs of a really dim future. God bless my Mum.. her faith moved mountains aki. I remember my primary school was barely 10 minutes away from home but form ilikuwa walking home from school for almost an hour. I would okota a stick that I would own with pride and walk around chapachapaing leaves claiming possession of nice cars with my friends and assigning each other jalopies. Hizo siku NTSA hawakuwa so anything with wheels and locomotive capability was roadworthy.

I would then get home. Sijui ni nani alidecide our school socks had to be white. We’d remove our socks while playing rounders na bladaa. For years, none of us had the wisdom to clean our feet before putting our socks back on. So I would get home… remove my socks and our housie would reign thunder on my little chubby cheeks. Hizo siku kids didn’t know we had rights. So kila mtu angepambana na hali yake.

Ile kitu ya kuvuta rubber bands ikiwa na kakaratasi kamekunjwa was probably one of the most creative thing I did. Oh na kuchomana na seeds za mabuyu.

I think I had some sort of business acumen though. I remember going to some flats and buying zile ice za bob (Y’all really mess everything up, sasa hao wamama waliendanga wapi??). I would sell them at school for 2 bob. My profits would be split in half between getting new stock and sending my big bro to buy me ‘sukari nguru’ akitumwa to the actual Rongai. Naambianga watu we live near MMU wanakataa kuskia.

I wonder what Tamara’s posture looks like when she’s thinking up her expansion plans or even just homework. Mimi walai I couldn’t think bila kutafunatafuna sweater kwa mikono. Like what is that?

While Tamara has a kids’ club that brings kids together for fun cookouts, sisi what brought us together ilikuwa zile vitabu tulikuwa tunaandikia lyrics and sticking those Sunday newspaper cutouts. Whoever made this a thing honestly alikuwa na kashida mahali and this was a cry for help.

Catch Tamara’s adorable insightful pitch [HERE] and then see your life. 90s kids tulikuwa na kakasoro but we’ll never admit it.

Don’t forget to catch more of those exciting pitches every Tuesday at 8pm on KCB Lions’ Den, only on KTN… okay and YouTube… okay and on the hashtag #KCBLionsDen pale Twirra… okay and on here as well… so many options!

 

I wonder how Sospeter alikuwa utotoni. It might explain a lot of things about who he is as a person today.

Be kind. Pray for Sospeter.

Huyo ankaanga ni kama angeweza kumeza sweater yote mzimamzima ? ? ?

 

 

 

Over&Out,
The Witty Banker.

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