Mobile Loan Safety Awareness

13th Dec, 2019

I was walking to work today in a rather happy good-vibes-love-and-light kinda mood alafu nikao huyu mtu anawikanga siku nzima pale Archives. He’s not done anything to me (yet), but he took me back to a time in my life when… let’s just say it was possibly the lowest I’ve ever hit. I was young (by the way mi husound kama nikona miaka ngapi?)

If you frequent this blog a lot, then you’ve heard me postpone the story of my first salo. Today, I’m telling it. And Im telling it with my chest! And if you have anything to say about it, mnikujie Kencom.

Anyway, so I was an intern in a place I won’t mention because huwezi jua. The year was 2014. I was fresh out of campo. I did that ujanja of extending your internship hoping they’d see your loyalty and decide to keep you. (I still left that place an intern. I made plans and the universe laughed – and oouh, it laughed hard!).

During my academic internship, I wasn’t paid. But I had exposure (pffahaha! See what I did there?). They’d feed me – three meals like a rich kid! And they’d also sort my transport. What was a salary for, right? But after I graduated, vitu kwa ground zikachange. I was put on payroll and let me just say, thao sita kwa mtoto hajawai pata salo, whew!

Shida ni, us of small small monies tulikuwa tunalipwa in cash. My salo was handled like petty cash but I was rich! I will never forget how that envelope looked. And the way those notes stacked up in there. I had never seen anything so beautiful.

I boarded my mat hapo Ngong Road and headed to town so I could take a jav home to the destination that is Rongai. Quite the journey. If you’ve ever been to Railways during rush hour then you are familiar with the untold madness that takes centre stage. The type-do rugby of watuz scrambling for sitting space and all. They say shetani akikuja anakujanga na wajukuu wote.

As I waited, one of those watu wa kuwika came through. That thing about an idle mind being the devil’s playround? Believe it. Small I found myself in the crowd surrounding the mans. And it really does seem to me like wanajuanga wageni. It was me. I was the targeted mgeni.

So this guy asked if anyone wanted their money doubled. We will never understand what came over me. I found myself volunteering so I could take home 12K. This story pains me. Nitarudi kumalizia. But the long-short of of it: that was the last I saw of my first salo.

So now I ask, how do you guys get duped by those Kamiti texts talmbou’ “1%/0% interest rate on KB M-PESA loans”? Sielewi.

2020, we do better.

Still, we move regardless.

Nimeenda kulia.

Send tissue.

The Witty (teary, today) Banker.

Niko Waks

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