Personal Finance Management

15th Nov, 2019

Kwani hatuchokangi kusota?

Picture this. Salo has checked in (no, not ati today. Hold your horses. I’m building up to something). Small small treats. Suddenly you remember the importance of Vitamin D so lunch time strolls to that kaspot that you only see after work ukienda tao… that becomes a thing. Small small, you want to order in a salad coz si ‘Health is Wealth’ and you have the wealth? Na jioni heri unyongwe than kuketi kwa traffic in a jav vile umezoea. So you wanna hit that kajoint pale Ngong Road as you ‘wait for traffic to ease’. Weekend haiezi kupata kwa nyumba. You want to meet up with those old schoolmates nyi hukutana mwezi kona mnadanganyana the way ‘we should do lunch’. House shopping at that self service shop ya estate? Mkubwa kama wewe? Whew, the actual ghetto, lol! Kiburi tu.

Week 1 of pay week huwa na vituko. Then comes week 2. First two days you’re still maintaining your affluent lifestyle. Vile wamezoea kukuita Jonte jina iligeuka ‘Mkubwa’ last week 😂😂. It’s the Wednesday/Thursday of that week that starts to whisper poverty is lurking. You promise to take that salo slow sasa. Mjanja kama wewe alenge red flags? Can never be you. Then the weekend comes. What red flags? Everyone deserves a treat. Online shopping for that fancy gadget uliona Gadget Stretch; Vasha trips (ama mnaendanga wapi siku hizi?); your moti needs to be louder than Kimathi Street; oooh and that nail bar you keep seeing on the Gram (guuuuurl, get it!); let’s not forget brunch with the crew. You get the picture.

Monday morning you wake up and go to work. You get to the office unapata rider waiting for you with your delivery. Man, you forgot about that device you’d ordered. Ah, no problem. Small small Kshs4K only? You even think like a written cheque using words like ‘only’. You do the bank transaction. Unaona balance. Inabidi umekula vako for lunch because you didn’t pack lunch and had no idea how many zeros had been left in your account.

This is the week of pain. Since hakunanga timer ya when we should all be broke, you watch as some of your colleagues continue to live their best lives. Hawakuenda Vasha, but be sure by the end of this week we’ll all be broke at once like a choir holding hands to sing Kumbaya – more like (sing it with us) “Solidarityyy foreee—eeever…”

And the next week, we’re all looking forward to pay week. We’re tasting each other’s home cooked meals coz mkiorder from that place that rhymes with ‘uta lift’, food hutaste same. This is the week we brag our kitchen skills. LOL.

And the cycle goes on.

So mbona tunazoea kujitesa? I’m not trying to tell you to pack lunch every day. Whew, who even has the time to cook everyday after wafungue Westlands Round-a-bout. Mnadhani naishi Westlands sasa? Hahaha, the joke! Me hupitia hapo nikienda kwa my bedsitter in the misspelt Muthaiga.

But even with the little you save, are you making it work for you? Inaeza keti kwa account ama kwa simu. The only thing is that ukichuna, inaisha tu. You know ‘chovyachovya’ things.

If you put aside just Kshs5K every month in a KCB Goal Savings Account, December itakupata na some loose loose Ksh65K.

Let me know in the comments if you wanna do this with me.

The Witty Banker

Niko Waks

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