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The Return of the #KCBKarenMasters

9th Jun, 2019

I have a confession. Don’t take it personal. Please don’t judge me and I won’t judge you, if it’s too much to take in, call polis!

I have never ever played golf! There, not so tragic? No?

I have however been to a exclusive member’s only country club, a couple of times on the invitation of a client who evidently wanted to make a statement, which they low key did, and I must give it to them. Nilitii my fren.

On the material day, hours to our meeting the client texted, “don’t wear jeans, you won’t be allowed in.” I wondered kwani ni harusi naenda?! I mean, anyway, I got some khaki pants and a nice shirt. Ilikuwa meeting ya pesa so I had to look like the money I was claiming for my services.

I passed by the car wash, got my baby scrubbed and off I went. I got there before the client, wakenya ni wale wale, my name was on the list but since I was there before the member who had invited me I had to wait outside the gate, bruh, hata si kwa parking, outside the gate. I was not even mad so I moved aside and waited. They were ‘5 minutes’ away anyway, lol.

They finally pulled up in a white Jeep which I thought was sleek until I was ushered in the parking area and my car was officially the ‘smallest’ car parked there on that day or ever, I suspect the later.

From the parking space alone, all I can say is, hii town watu wako na pesa my fren! Kuna watu wanaishi, sisi wengine we are surviving. Yaani hadi you start asking God ulikosea nini? Tithe unatoa, kanisa unaenda, bible unasoma but unaeza dedi hujaendesha V8. Damn!

Mimi huyo kwa reception, filled in my tu details then I was buzzed in with a card. Key word, buzzed!  Tukaingia, menu ikakam, wadau mimi ni wale wasee hatujuangi tunakula nini so we let the prices guide us through, zile bei zilikuwa mbaya but fortunately the client was like, “you can have anything you want, my treat.” What a relief that was! I was to order ‘tap water’ roho safi.

The meeting went well, very well indeed that it got me other invitations to the club.

The club was so beautiful man, the grass on the course was definitely greener, all lush and green. The air was so fresh I forgot I was within Nairobi, the members in the neighboring tables were not your regular folks at the local. They were guys I had seen on TV, read on papers, some blogs, others I had definitely stalked on social media streets. Wazito!. Kujua watu ni vizuri.

I now knew where they came to “hide” and cut deals. A certain senior government official was in shorts hapo anaenda kucheza, a certain Army Major General was having what looked like a serious conversation with some guy hapo, unajua zile meeting people whisper and it’s just them there, that. Some senator came to say hi to us, oh well, my client, on his way out. Yaani wazito wote wa hii town walikuwa huko. It explained the guzzlers.

That miniature course from the balcony/veranda looked gorgeous and so inviting. My client said it was enormous, hours and hours of exploring. I was curious but unacheza tu chini juu meeting hata ilikuwa imeisha I was supposed to be long gone.

I finally leave anyway, on my way out of the club, hapo kwa reception there is a notice board, kurusha macho I see something that immediately captures my attention! A #KCBKarenMasters poster –  it’s an exciting golf event that pulls the who-is-who in golf. It’s not something new apparently, it’s the 3rd edition and again I wondered who my friends have been because why am I learning about this now? Ama najua tu watu wamesota? I need to make friends who play golf and this is it! Anyway, it’s

The who-is-who in golf, both professional and those learning (like me) will be there, a mix of professional and amateur players from the local and international scene take to the course. Yaani I’ll rub shoulders with the movers and shakers, and join the deal masters in action. From my meetings, a round of golf has the ability to build lasting relationships in a few short hours, and create an environment of deal-making, stress relief, and wellness. It’s to die for fam na hata sichochi. Look at the itinerary here;

As if that was not enough, Nyama choma, ma cocktails, kuslay because watu wa golf na fashion one side and after all the action on the golf course, party in style as the DJs take to the decks on Fri 28th and Sat 29th.

This for me makes sense because I am at a point of adulating where I don’t attend any event that doesn’t add value in my life. I have been there, done it and conquered so I would rather Netflix and chill but after evaluating this occasion, I am definitely going. Najua zile culture shock zinaningoja ni mob.

I don’t want to be a bad friend either, like mine have been so check it out and come through. There’s more to this shindig than the fun, games and Instagramable moments. It’s definitely worthwhile.

See you there.

 

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